For the Sake of the Kids
Create a harmonious and peaceful transition when your marriage is ending by using the shaping power of your parental devotion to transition from spouses to a generative, mutually supportive, co-parenting partnership.
A healthy extended family
Specializing in working with Parents during a break-up, or after a divorce, my goal is to support growth for positive co-parenting. Coaching work with Parents supports children to increase their own capacity for connection and continue to develop in a healthy way through the normal phases of growing up. Healing Arts are taught to Parents to use with their children as a gateway.
We are all too aware of how critical our children’s needs are for secure and stable bonds throughout their lives in order to be happy, healthy people, so;
How do we move beyond the terrifying stages of a break up without leaving our kids emotionally homeless?
What happens when you deal with the social shame of a failed relationship and have terror that you are messing the kids up for life coming as they do now from a “broken” home?
It’s not the divorce – it’s the way we divorce
What we are learning now is that it is not so much the divorce itself, but the profoundly hostile and un-creative ways we go about it that hurt our kids. It’s the “way” we divorce, the way we “behave” at the end of love, not the divorce itself. It’s the war we engage in for the attainment of restitution, vindication, because of the pain resulting from loss. It’s very easy to lose our way in a break up.
In Deep Loss and Yearning for Wholeness
Even when kids live in intact homes with high levels of conflict and strife, whether the parents are married or not, they suffer high stress hormones.
During a hostile divorce ½ of parents try to turn the child against the other parent; ¼ of the parents directly involve the child in the dispute; 1 in 5 of the children lose contact with one or more grandparents.
Our kids are also in deep loss and yearning for wholeness, but can be fragmented.
The real effect of a hostile divorce for our children involves elevated stress hormones, crushing loneliness, not knowing where they belong or who to, a shame-based sense of inferiority, and no longer feeling at home in themselves with their childhood homes so changed.
Children will blame themselves because they cannot yet at their age make sense of it.
They become energy sponges who internalize their parents rage. If they are not offered a tremendous amount of support, love, and wise guidance to make an empowered ‘meaning’ as they go through the loss, they can begin to develop patterns of relationality based on a negative self-concept.
This shows up later as promiscuity, alcohol and drug use, addictions, low self-worth, failing grades, and troubled relations into adulthood.
Even though there is nothing as hard as a break up – if we, as adults take on our own growth and do the work towards our own emotional maturity the children are shown a healthy way through.
Conscious Uncoupling will teach you how to use your break up experience to catalyze profound personal growth and awakening to go from a broken family to a cohesive “expanded” one family system that is restructured in a healthy way. Instead of a war where no one wins, you will heal, move on, to create ongoing peace, co-parent with grace and harmony creating an environment where your children thrive.
Results for You and Your Children
You will use the shaping power of your parental devotion to be a North Star for your children by protecting their love for both parents.
Triumph over the instinctive biochemistry to lash out over the deep hurt and heartache you feel, and instead transform the debilitating pain into a catalyst for profound personal growth.
Transition from spouses to co-parents by responsibly taking on your own growth to take care of what is in front of you. It is the work of the parents to see this as an opportunity to accomplish the emotional maturation needed.
Create consistent cohesion in and across a new structure of extended family to support the full healthy ongoing development of your children.
Trauma proof your children during this profound life change.
Children cannot be shielded from the inevitable losses of life, but instead if there is a separation or loss they can be given a tremendous amount of love and support as they go through the loss while staying whole and thriving.
Schedule a 20 minute free conversation to ask questions using the form below or by calling me at (720) 938-9693.
Healing therapies and insight are brought to address your child’s emotional development during the changing family dynamic. My background in Therapeutic Education has given me extensive experience with parents and their children over the years, including the special needs of autism, learning challenges, underachievement, plus the needs of indigo’s and gifted. I will help you learn a range of soul care modalities tailored to fit your child which will support them to stay connected and rooted in an experience of being loved, during and after the separation, while they adjust to transitioning to and from households. The goal is to help them feel safe, wanted, and connected as you and your former partner transition from spouses into a new expanded family culture so they continue to thrive.